Crone, the Witch:
The world's meanest and grumpiest witch-...
-has gotten herself a job.
Yes, that's right.
But since coworkers are the worst thing she knows...
Yeah, we do not like coworkers.
...she's started her own business instead.
And she's named the company:
Crone, the Witch Inc.
♪ At Crone, the Witch Incorporated ♪ ♪ You'll find only the wicked ♪
♪ I'm the only one here ♪ ♪ Please do feel all your fear ♪
♪ Please do not come in ♪ ♪ Staying would be a sin ♪
♪ Each customer gives me new pains ♪ ♪ They really don't give any gains ♪
♪ Business does not interest me ♪ ♪ Do not care, will not see ♪
♪ I hate when people call me up ♪ ♪ I just can't get them to shut up ♪
♪ They want my help with this or that ♪ ♪ Leave me be, or meet my bat ♪
♪ I want to be alone ♪ ♪ Happily a crone ♪
♪ At Crone, the Witch Incorporated ♪ ♪ You'll find only the wicked ♪
♪ I'm the only one here ♪ ♪ Please do feel all your fear ♪
♪ Please do not come in ♪ ♪ Staying would be a sin ♪
Every morning, the Witch unlocked the door-
-flipped the sign from "Closed" to "Open"-
-counted the change...
One, two, four... eighteen, maybe.
...and finally, it was time to do the window dressing.
The only question was what to dress it with.
There! That'll do.
An ophthalmic frame.
Why are you displaying an ophthalmic frame?
Well, how am I supposed to know?
Indeed. And that was just the problem:
The Witch had no idea what type of business she was running.
Did she sell things, did she fix things, or did she offer services and consultations?
Yeah... What do I do here?
What am I doing here? I...
I do whatever I want!
Anyway...
When the Witch was done dressing the window she returned to the register to sulk-
-and hope that no customers would show up, as usual.
Please, please, please, please, please, please-
-please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please...
...please, please, please...
No!
Not Tryggve, the Troll.
Yep.
The first customer of the day was none other than Tryggve, the Trendsetting Troll-
-who always wore the latest of fashion.
Like a cinnamon bun hat, for example.
Look! Over there!
Would you like a cookie?
No, thanks. I'm full.
T'at's right.
Good day! I have a question:
Alright, then I think you should mail it to someone who cares.
Yeah...
Right. My mother said that she'd been past here and-
-spotted a pair of glasses in the display window so I'm wondering:
Could it possibly be that you are an optician?
An optician?
Do I look like an optician?
I have no idea. I'm practically blind.
Oh, so you don't see very well.
Then you can't tell if I'm making a scary, ugly, and mean face at you, like this:
Or like this:
No, I cannot see your ugly faces.
Oh, that won't do.
Then you can't see that I'm being mean to you and won't feel hurt.
No, this is unacceptable. From now on I'll be your optician.
Your new glasses should be done by this afternoon. Now, get out!
Alright, but hold on. Aren't you going to do an eye exam?
No. Why would I?
Yeah. To confirm my prescription.
All opticians do it.
Oh, yes. Yes.
Of course.
Right, an eye exam.
Let's see here...
How poor is your vision?
Very poor.
Very...
...poor.
Alright. Eye exam done.
Go on, git!
Alright, but I think I'll leave a copy of my prescription-
-just in case you need it.
Here you go.
T'at's right.
That's right.
9.50 on the left eye, minus 10.0 on the right eye.
Uh-huh.
What's this? Why should I care?
I'm an optician, not a math nerd, for crying out loud.
Talking Man! What does one of these opticians even do all day?
Well, in simple terms, you could say that an optician does three things:
First they do an eye examination and see how bad your eyesight is.
Next, two discs are milled until they match the prescription-
-and properly correct the vision of the bearer.
Finally, the lenses are fitted to an aesthetically pleasing frame.
Hah! That was ridiculously simple.
Let's see here...
I did the eye exam.
Now all I have to do is mill some glass and put it in a frame.
Easy as pie!
But how can you be sure that the glasses will fit Tryggve, the Troll?
Right...
Let's see here...
Let's see. He's round and ugly and sees very poorly.
Then he'll need a pair of round, ugly, poorly working glasses.
I already have a frame.
All I need now is glass.
Glass...
Glass. Where am I going to find glass? Glass...
I think this will be easier than I thought.
The Witch was just about to break the window when Felicia, the Fanciful Fairy, showed up.
Hey! What are you doing?
I'm breaking this window with my purse.
What does it look like?
You can't just break the window.
It's forbidden.
Uh-huh. You can do it for me, then.
What? Why would I-
-Felicia, the Fanciful Fairy-
-break a window?
Absolutely not!
I am far too remarkable, important, and fancy-
- to do anything forbidden.
What's so remarkable about you? You're like any prissy fairy I've ever met.
And you're not fancy whatsoever.
If anything, you're pretentious.
How dare you? I am fanciful and remarkable!
I am more beautiful than almost any other fairytale creature.
On top of that I am best friends with every king, queen, and fairytale celebrity.
Everybody knows who I am.
I don't.
I have no idea who you are.
Are you...
...a troll, perhaps? Hold on, or a moose?
-You're a moose, aren't you? -Stop teasing me!
You broke the window!
Oh, save me!
I really hope none of my fancy friends saw this.
I need to talk to the glazier to have a new window installed-
-before anyone notices.
Do what you want.
What do I care?
I'm heading back home to mill this glass.
Upon returning to the shop, the Witch immediately began milling the glass.
All I need to do is sand the glass down.
There.
Next, she installed the glass in the delightful frame.
There we go!
There! Perfect!
Aren't they fly?
Yeah... They're very special, one might say.
But can you see well with them on?
Of course. I can see perfectly.
Damn glasses!
They're completely worthless! I can't see a thing through these!
No, I don't think you can use regular window glass.
Besides, you have to be a really skilled optician to get the prescription right.
Skilled?
You have to be skilled, too?
I am not skilled!
Not being able to mill the glasses right made the Witch so mad-
-that she decided to disappear all eyeglasses in the whole world.
With frog juice and puke of any kind
Glasses are all out of sight and of mind
The sudden disappearance of all of the world's glasses caused city-wide chaos-
-and was Fairytale News' top story that day.
Welcome to Fairytale News. This is our top story tonight:
All glasses in the world have disappeared.
This is just terrible.
Gnomes and trolls fumble around downtown, unable to find their way home.
My camera operator cannot set the camera focus without glasses.
This is not good.
I am far too handsome to be blurry on television.
Do you hear me? Far too handsome.
Over now to our reporter —Ellen, the Exasperating Elf—
-who is sending live from the location of the suspected glasses vanisher.
Ellen.
Thank you, Boris.
That's right. I am currently outside the premises of Crone, the Witch Inc.-
-where I suspect that the culprit is located.
The culprit is none other than Crone, the Witch-
-known as the grumpiest and meanest of witches.
Let's head inside and see what she has to say to her defense.
Come along.
Well, go on then!
What do you want? Go away!
Hello there, old witch. I would like to ask you a few questions.
Well, that's absolutely out of the question. We're closed for vacation due to illness
Get out!
Are you the one responsible for the disappearance of all the glasses?
Yes, that's me.
Ow!
That serves you right for disappearing all of the glasses!
Now to the big question: why did you do it?
Well, it turns out that you need to be skilled-
-to be an optician.
-and let me tell you that I do not want to be skilled-
-nor an optician for that matter-
-and if I don't want to be an optician, nobody else needs to be one either.
But have you thought of what'll happen to all of the princes and princesses who-
-want to draw a picture to show their dad, the King, without his glasses? Have you?
No, I haven't thought of them.
So think of them, then.
Alright. I'll think of them, then.
It took me two days to paint this drawing of a boat for my dad-
-but without glasses he can't see what it's supposed to be.
Oh! What a lovely sausage you've painted.
A boat! It's a boat!
This isn't funny.
He thought it was a sausage! Yeah...
Sausages are tasty...
Fie! You really are wicked!
Thank you! That's nice of you to say.
But hey:
How will you be able to walk around town, acting tough?
I'll do just fine.
Without sunglasses?
What are you staring at? Get out of here!
It is fun to walk around town, acting tough...
...but it's impossible to do without sunglasses!
Yes, you see it now.
I must undo my spell and bring the glasses back immediately!
There you have it, dear viewers.
As you can tell, Crone, the Witch is incapable of ceasing her evil-doing-
-but at least we will all have our glasses back now.
Back to the studio.
With pig's back and droppings of dragon kind All of the glasses in place they will find
With all of the the glasses back, the Witch realised that she-
-still owed Tryggve, the Trend-setting Troll, a pair.
How am I supposed to solve this?
-Do you know what you could do? -No.
You could take the frames to a real optician.
Bah! That's the dumbest thing I've heard. You always have the dumbest ideas.
Do you know what I could do?
No.
I could take the glasses to a real optician.
-Hm. What a great idea. -Thank you!
Said and done. The Witch went to the optician's office-
-and had just returned from there-
-when Tryggve, the Trend- setting Troll, stumbled into the store.
What do you want?
To pick up my glasses.
Yes, they're right here.
Here!
Perfect!
I can see perfectly in these glasses.
And what dashing frames, too!
And now a quick eye exam.
Can you see this?
-Well? -Yes!
What are you doing? Why are you laughing at my evil face?
You're supposed to be sad, not laugh. Don't you get that I'm trying to be mean?
Yeah, but I can't feel sad when you look so silly.
Silly? Get out of here, you Troll bastard!
Oh! No, you see... I have to pay first.
How much will this cost me?
Well... How much do you have?
Well... 12,000 SEK or so.
Then that's what it costs. It costs 12,000 SEK.
Oh! That's expensive.
Yeah, but that's what you give for a pair of dashing glasses these days.
Get out!
T'at's right.
That's right.
Mm. It looks like Crone, the Witch Inc. is turning a profit.
Are you kidding?
I paid the optician 3,000 SEK to put new lenses in the frame.
I charged the Troll 12,000 SEK.
That's a profit of 12,000 minus 3,000. That's 53, 1 in reserve, times 4?
9,000.
Exactly! That was my answer, too. Overcharging is so much fun!
Does this mean you're going to continue working as an optician?
Yeah, maybe.
If I could be a reverse optician who made glasses that made you see worse-
-and sold really ugly frames.
But I bet you need to be skilled as a reverse optician too and that's not my thing.
So, what profession will you take up tomorrow?
I'm not working at all tomorrow-
-because I'll be focusing on being rude to the customers-
-and after that I'll be sulking here, by the register.
I see. What are you gonna do now?
I'm going to sulk here, by the register.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna watch the credits.
How silly!
I would never watch anything so silly.
No, I'm keeping my eyes closed the whole time.
Caption and localisation by: PuffyRainbowCloud 2024-05-06